There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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