His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
