margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
