We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
im six kinds of drunk right now
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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