You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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