for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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