just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
