Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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