Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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