Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
