I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
