I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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