Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
