I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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