Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
