Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
