Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
