I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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