He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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