Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
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