Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
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