It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
