i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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