she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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