Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
