Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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