I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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