god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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