don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize