i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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