imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
