this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
