go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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