I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I need water and some morals
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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