I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
