wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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