some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
