Screwed.edu
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize