What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
