Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
