Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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