the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
it hurts more in the daytime
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
