Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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