this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
