The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
