It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize