So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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