If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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