I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
