too bad you live with your parents still
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
