i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize