she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
