Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
