You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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