One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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