I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
my liver is dry heaving
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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