I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
