So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
