Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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