The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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