So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
