The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
