That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
